Meet baby Wyatt. Jenny and I had the pleasure of photographing him last week and he stole our hearts away. Wyatt was born with a heart defect and had to undergo open heart surgery last week. With all that’s going on inside his little body, he is the happiest little guy. We normally don’t photograph babies between 2 weeks and about 6 months, but when mom explained the situation we jumped at the opportunity to capture these moments for their family. So please be praying for this sweet baby.

When I first started thinking about writing this post, I was heading in a whole different direction. As I kept brainstorming and thinking about baby Wyatt and his health, it led me to think about my own son, who was recently diagnosed with 16p microdeletion syndrome and one of Jenny’s girls who was diagnosed with diabetes not long ago. It all just made me think about how hard it is to be a parent and the worry, stress, and heartache that goes with it. Sometimes I want so bad to just take this all away from my son and to gather him in my arms and hold him, keeping him away from all harm and struggle. On the other hand, I know that God uses struggle to teach us and grow us. One thing is for sure, having a child has brought me just a bit closer to understanding God’s incredible love for us and the heartache that He must have at times for us.

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you….” Isaiah 66:13

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“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.” Psalm 42:1

A few weeks ago I was cleaning out my computer and making sure my pictures were backed up when I came across this image I took last August. Instantly, God reminded me of the verse above. And then of course I was singing the song in my head (for those of you who know what song I’m talking about).

When I think of this verse, I think of two things. One, in a sense I want to always be thirsty for God. I don’t ever want to have the feeling that I don’t need His living water to feed my soul and that I can survive on my own. Two, many times the latter is just the case, until eventually I find that I’ve been running on my own strength and energy and realize how very much I need to quench my thirst with His grace and rest in His presence in order to keep going.

I took this picture when my husband and I stayed at a place called Genesee Home. Genesee Home is a place located in the Sierra Mountains and is a Sabbath Rest for pastors, missionaries, and their wives. This was our second time visiting and every time we go we both really love it. There is no tv, no internet, no cell service, and no radio. For 5 days. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is. In fact last summer we were trying to plan a vacation somewhere. We were thinking New York maybe or a cruise. I was feeling particularly stressed out and “thirsty” when I remembered Genesee and I knew that it was exactly where we needed to go. We needed some time to be alone away from all the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives. A time where we could reconnect with God and each other. On our way home this last time, David asked me what I missed most about being gone. And my answer was “aside from friends and family, nothing”. I didn’t miss my clothes, or my tv shows, or my computer. It’s amazing to see what you really need and how unnecessary most things are when you strip it all away.

Before going to Genesee, I never fully understood the importance of keeping the Sabbath. But after being able to rest in God and His Creation, it becomes very obvious how much it is needed as a regular practice. Before we left I made a commitment to limit my computer and work time at home. Unfortunately, I haven’t really lived up to that. Perhaps God is gently reminding me of how much I need to close my laptop and sit with Him or spend time with my family.

I googled Sabbath and came across this: “The Hebrew word sabbath literally means “to cease.” Just as God rested from His creation work, we are to rest from our day-to-day occupations and refocus on what’s really important. It’s a day to push the reset button. Taking a Sabbath rest is an act of faith; it’s a reminder that no matter what we do, God is in control. When we cease from pursuing our material goals for one day each week, we’re saying, “God, I trust You to maintain control while I spend this day focusing on You. I trust You to provide for my needs seven days a week even if I only work for six of them. Regardless of how much money I could earn today, or how much remains on my to-do list from last week, today I’m going to rest my mind and body and bask in Your presence.” (Please note that I know nothing about this website and am not promoting it. I simply liked their explanation.)

I’m not necessarily referring to a Sabbath Day, although that is one of the ten commandments. I’m referring more to setting apart time to rest in God every day and as often as needed. Some days may require more. One of the things that really struck me about that explanation of the Sabbath is the last part about how much remains on my to-do list. Usually it’s my list of things to accomplish that I end up putting first. This is SO backwards! I am preaching to myself here:) Although I’m sure many of you can relate. And I love that it says it’s “an act of faith; it’s a reminder that no matter what we do, God is in control.” Something I desperately need to keep reminding myself and is evident when I go about my day crossing off my list one by one without stopping to spend time with God.

There will always be laundry, and dishes, and toys (goodness toys are my arch nemesis), and pictures to edit, and sessions to blog. But is checking off our my list more important than allowing ourselves to be filled with God’s presence and spending time with our loved ones? A while back I read Life You’ve Always Wanted by John Ortberg and there was one thing I read that has always stayed with me. I don’t remember the exact quote, but it said something to the effect of God has given us just the right amount of time to accomplish the things He wants us to accomplish that particular day. Lists are good. I like them and I like seeing them get smaller and smaller. I just need to add a reminder at the top to get my energy for the day by the only true One who can supply it.

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Every day when I look out my back slider I see this bird’s nest. I’ve never seen its owner, but some little bird made it at some point. The other day when I looked out, I was reminded of this verse……

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34

Last month I wrote about how God was teaching me about trusting Him in all things and all circumstances. This month God has been speaking to me about worry, the emotions and thoughts that prevent me from trusting Him. If there was a worry contest, I’m pretty sure I would win the grand prize. And on a side note, if there was a job as a professional sleeper I’m pretty sure I could get employee of the month every month. Back to worry…..

One of the things I’ve struggled worrying about is our home. Like MANY Americans we are in the process of a loan modification. A modification that likely won’t be helpful enough and will lead to a foreclosure (but who knows, God is in control of it). To give you a quick background, when we bought our house I was working full time as a counseling secretary in a high school. I decided to quit to pursue a Masters Degree in School Counseling, something I had considered for years. School loans would cover the extra income we needed until graduation. Shortly before the first quarter we found out we were expecting our first child. News we were thrilled about after struggling with infertility for two years. On the first day of orientation I told the director of the program who advised me to wait until after having the baby to continue my education. So there we were, no job, no school loans, and a hefty mortgage payment. After Mason was born I worked two part time jobs that some generous friends provided. Those helped, but we were still slowly eating away our savings.

It saddens me to think about moving. This is the only home Mason has known and we will have gone through two pregnancies here. However, I know there is a lesson in this too. When you strip away all the feelings and memories attached to this house and get down to the basics, does it really matter where we live? God will provide us with what we need. All we need to do is keep our focus on Him. And really wherever we end up living is only temporary. Our real home is in heaven waiting for us to arrive.

So why bother worrying about things we can’t control anyways. There is absolutely no benefit to it and we can’t trust in God and worry at the same time. If I have the choice to either worry about something that I can’t do anything about or give it over to the Creator of the universe, then I’m gonna hand it over (I’m going to try anyways:)). I imagine in my mind that God receives it as a gift from us, a gift with a tag that says, “God I choose to trust You”.

I recently listened to a podcast sermon online about worry. In the message the pastor spoke about an acronym on how to not be a worry WART. I won’t go into detail, but here is the acronym.

W – WATCH your focus (don’t focus on the problem, instead focus on the problem solver)

A- ACCEPT the providence of God

R-REPLACE your priorities (are you seeking out things of this world or are you seeking out the kingdom of God and His righteousness)

T-TODAY prevails (don’t worry about tomorrow)

I debated talking about this for a couple reasons. One, I know finances are a very private topic for many and two, I didn’t want it to come across as a plea for sympathy because that really isn’t my intent. In the end though, this is what God kept putting on my heart.

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength. Corrie Ten Boom

I heard this song the other day and thought it was fitting.

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This is what I (Stephanie) have been learning……

Some of you may know that for the past two years, my husband and I have struggled to get pregnant with our second baby. (We actually struggled for two years to get pregnant with our first baby as well.) Friends who got pregnant at the beginning of our struggle were now getting pregnant the second time around. And still we waited. And it was painful. To be honest, it still is.

We went through six months of failed Clomid and then were at a standstill. I decided the medication was too much for me to deal with and chose not to go forward with the next step. We then went to an informational meeting at an adoption agency and were excited about the possibility, although I didn’t feel the timing was right and decided we should get over all the craziness of the holidays before going further. Towards the end of the year I started contemplating going back to the doctor for the next step, self injections. Then, two weeks before Christmas we found out we were indeed expecting. It happened during the most stressful month of the whole year. I had two weddings to shoot, one being my brother’s that I ended up having to photograph by myself. Thanksgiving was around the corner and then Christmas. My husband’s job had him gone most days and nights of the week. So we had decided to give up trying until January. But God, being the great God that He is, chose to show us that we indeed need Him. Why I think I can do a better job at managing my life than an all knowing, powerful and loving God, I have no idea. It basically comes down to the Garden of Eden and the fall of man. Adam and Eve chose to trust in the serpent’s lies instead of God’s truth. A trap I’m sad to say, I fall into far too often, but a major lesson that God has taught me through all of this.

When I think about that part of the pilgrimage that God had us on, it reminds me of this Psalm. We have just passed through the Valley of Baca, also known as the Valley of Weeping. Looking back, I can see God’s gentle hand and guidance as we traveled through that land drenched with tears. And I know God taught me much and grew me more than I could have otherwise. One of the biggest lessons He taught me was on trusting Him. While I can’t say I have it down, I can say that it’s a lot clearer. And while we will probably pass through The Valley many more times, I know that He will tenderly lead me to a place of springs and bring rain as He has always done before and that the valley won’t last forever. Whether the destination on the other side of the valley is the one we’re hoping for or something else entirely, it will be God’s perfect plan for us in His all knowing wisdom and love.

 O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.

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Thank you card on the right with a handmade stamped vintage camera on the front. Crochet lace wrapped around the cd box.

Kraft holder for the referral cards.

On the right is a thank you note. The back has the same design and includes directions for the referral cards.